DESUS & MERO

For his birthday, Trump gets an investigation from the FBI and some serious clowning from the Australian PM. French Montana talks his new single and his bowling game.

Sessions testifies that he has a bad memory & that black women make him nervous.

Trump's cabinet heaps staged praise on their leader, Durant gets his ring & Rodman goes back to North Korea to see his boo. Big Boi unblocks Desus on Twitter.

Melania moves to DC, Barkley goes to fat camp & there's finally a hair tattoo for bald people. Freddie Gibbs talks about being falsely accused and jailed in Austria.

Comey calls Trump a liar under oath, McCain forgets which hearing he's at and more bee sex!

Trump's intelligence team won't snitch to the Senate and Seinfeld won't give Ke$ha a hug. Sasheer Zamata lists all the other comics she gets confused for.

Eric & Donald Tump Jr. defend their dad, their business, and their sister.

Bill Maher drops the N word on his show.

Trump finally gets to piss off NATO in person .

Trump meets the pope, Shaq & Barkley go at it and Ellen grills Nicki Minaj about Nas. Rob Huebel explains why he's banned from Yankee Stadium.

Desus and Mero run with a twitter rumor that Melania wants out & marvel at a clip of two bees having sex. Hannibal Buress talks Baywatch and "vague fame."

Trump takes his talents to the Middle East for some sword dancing, orb grabbing, & First Lady irritating. NBA'er Enes Kanter explains why Turkey revoked his passport.

Trump cries witch hunt, Ryan learns that tape recorders aren't loyal and there's a Japanese porn star who looks criminally young. Melissa Harris-Perry returns!

Putin & Comey both offer to share their notes on Trump's sketchy Oval Office conversations. Whoopi Goldberg discusses fame, the Knicks and her cannabis product for women.

Trump leaks all over some Russians again and his McMaster tries to clean up the mess. Cari Champion explains why thigh meat and journalism mesh.

Kellyanne Conway might be as miserable in her job as we hope she is.  Al Sharpton recalls what he told Obama in '04 and what he told Trump in '17.