Car 54, Where Are You?

In the pilot, the boys are desperate to angle for swordfish. After shift-swapping with the entire precinct and avoiding any issuance of tickets (to avert court duty), will they go?

Gunther Toody drives the entire station batty, chairing the committee to get everyone's favorite desk Sgt. Sol Abrams a surprise 25-year present. Toody keeps changing his little mind seeking the perfect gift and insists on parliamentary procedure for meetings.

The boys use extraordinary techniques to rehabilitate a recently released petty thief. Unfortunately, Benny has other ideas.

Toody and Muldoon's 9 blissful years as partners stun a researcher who finds the average prowl car pair last only 16 months before screaming to be switched. If the NYPD management engineer can discover their secret and replicate it, that'll save the blue brass many headaches.

Introducing Mrs. Bronson, the sweet Jewish grandmother confounding the boys at the 53rd as well as New York City's bureaucracy.

Toody convinces 'Tessie the Torso', a buxom sex-symbol, to stay at Francis's mother's house. It turns out, Muldoon is a huge fan.

The Precinct tries to uncover a group of car thieves who repaint the cars they steal.

Lucille plays matchmaker for Francis.

The boys are told to shut down a gypsy ripoff artist, and when they do, the gypsy puts a curse on Toody.

The Toodys give their landlord thirty days' notice.

After a chance traffic stop with Hugh Downs, Gunther finagles an appearance on the Jack Paar show of a fellow officer he thinks is funny.

Gunther wishes his wife would be more submissive.

As Department Treasurer, Toody decides to invest the Department's money in the stock market.

Muldoon inadvertently becomes a bank robber.

The Precinct puts on a special Christmas program for their friends and family. The program features songs depicting life at the Precinct rather than Christmas carols.

Muldoon's the big expert on rules and regulations, but he's scared to take the test to become a sergeant.

The boys are attempting to win the barbershop quartet competition for "the old man" Capt. Block. The rules require all 163 quartets to perform the same song, which drives poor Jan Murray to insanity.

After the police chief drives through Toody & Muldoon's sector, he's so angered by the scores of violations he sees he orders an investigation - with surprising results.

Toody is on an undercover detail in Brooklyn with a female cop as his wife and a small boy as his child. When Lucille's sister spots him there, the rumors start flying wildly.

Muldoon panics when he discovers that his height might disqualify him from the force.

Toody is the only person who can appreciate Karpathia's abstract masterpiece, "Lower Manhattan at Sunset (from the New Jersey Side)." This episode features an inspired performance from Severn Darden.

The 53rd is embarrassed by the domestic dispute calls that come every Thursday night - from the Schnausers. Toody convinces Leo (along w/the rest of the boys) that Thursday's actually Friday leading to expected hilarious confusion.

Cpt. Block investigates the success of the Toody-Muldoon partnership.

Tired of being stereotyped as a mama's boy, Muldoon feigns having a hot date at "the hottest club in the Bronx". When his bluff is called by doubting coworkers, he quickly commandeers a puritan family who gets the wrong impression from his weapon!

A professional pickpocket steals Toody's wallet and assumes Toody's identity as a Police Officer. He arrests other pickpockets, until he himself is finally caught.