Wrecked

After surviving the Cruisifornication explosion and washing ashore on a new island, the survivors uncover a menacing threat, begging the question -- wait, does anyone actually read these episode descriptions?

After a charismatic millionaire rescues the survivors, Jess and Florence suspect he may not be what he seems, and set out to answer the question -- who is Declan Stanwick? And more importantly, who is reading this? Anyone?

After discovering Declan's sinister plot, Danny goes undercover with the rich, while Pack and Karen attempt to escape the compound. I wish we could escape writing these episode descriptions, am I right? Because no one actually reads these, right?

After Jess loses her recollection of the last decade, Todd attempts to spark her memory. Steve and Declan face off in a battle of wits. Like, seriously, what are these episode descriptions being used for? iTunes? Amazon? Are they just buried deep in the TBS app?

On the eve of "The Hunt," Martha offers to the survivors' one last meel of their choosing -- as long as they can all decide together. And yeah, we know meal is spelled wrong above. We just don't care, because, truly, no one is reading these. So who cares?

It's "Hunt Day," and the survivors must face off against each other in a battle royale to the death. Meanwhile, Kevin makes a daring escape. Except -- no he doesn't. Because Kevin's not a real character. Because these episode descriptions don't matter, because no one reads them.

Pack and Jess discover a new threat on the island. Knocked unconscious, Todd navigates his dreamworld with the help of an unlikely ally -- the second lead on HBO's Ballers, Rob Corddry. But more importantly -- come on, it's episode 7 of season 3. If you haven't taken the plunge into this series already, is reading this episode description really going to knock you over the edge?

With Karen gravely injured, Owen and Danny must journey to the center of the island to defeat "Chettywompwomp." Florence learns more about Karen's backstory. Much like having to write these ridiculous episode descriptions, Pack, Todd, and Jess face a futile task.

The survivors attempt to turn the tables on the rich and lure them into a trap. Seriously, if anyone actually reads this, email us at IReadTheWreckedEpDescriptions@gmail.com. We'll be genuinely surprised if we get a single email.

Barricaded in the mansion and surrounded by the rich, the survivors mount one last attempt to escape Declan's island, and -- wait. Holy shit. We get it now. Writing these weren't about the descriptions themselves -- it was about the journey. We're better writers, nay, people, for having penned these. To all who read these, whoever you are -- thank you.