Porterhouse Blue

When the master of Porterhouse College, Cambridge dies of a Porterhouse blue, a stroke brought on by excessive living, having rejected all likely candidates to succeed him, the post passes to former Minister of Social Security Sir Godber Evans. This is not a popular choice with the staff, who are snobs, as former student Evans was a grammar school boy.

Despite his disdain for Zipser's studiousness Skullion does not report him but Zipser has another problem - he has the hots for Mrs. Biggs, his chubby, middle-aged cleaner. After a disastrous effort to get condoms in a pub vending machine Zipser goes to the suppliers and ends up with four gross of contraceptives by mistake.

Sir Godber is in a self-congratulatory mood. His plans to impose change on Porterhouse appear to have the college's traditionalist Fellows over a barrel.

With a view to ending Sir Godber’s regime, the dean and Sir Cathcart D'Eath encourage television journalist Cornelius Carrington to make a documentary about the college.