RiffTrax Shorts

If you plan on camping in Australia, Don't Be A Bloody Idiot: watch Don't Be A Bloody Idiot. Mike, Kevin and Bill, (all of them Stickybeaks), pool their last Brass Razoo, try not to act like a bunch of Ockers and google "Australian slang" to find out what the hell we're talking about as they riff one of the finest 1970s Australian camping safety films they've ever seen: Don't Be A Bloody Idiot.

Norman Bean: Carl. It seems you just went to the zoo and filmed some monkeys. Carl: Yep, sure did. They got some pretty good monkeys, down there at the zoo. Norman Bean: In fact you only filmed them for about three minutes, and then looped the footage three times. Carl: Did I? Heh, heh. I was pretty stoned. Let's slap a crappy song on it and head to the strip club. 'Strip' - now there's a verb!

Yes, pigs, everyone's favorite raw material for bacon, finally are the subject of their own short. But these are not the lovable pigs you're used to. These are rough and tumble semi-natural pigs that make Hogzilla look like Babe, and make Babe look like some sort of high voiced, sheep-befriending wuss! You'll never look at your breakfast ham steak the same way again!

Safe Living at School pulls is a short which attempts to tell you how to make it through the school day unscathed. Mike, Kevin and Bill have safely lived at a school for over two years now, living in the janitor's closet and subsisting on saltines and apple juice The crusty old principal thinks they are just the third grade classroom's hamster that escaped when Joey left the cage open.

Enjoy the story of a nihilistic band of youths, who despite their middle class upbringing and lack of any real responsibility or hardship in their lives, have developed a healthy distrust of cops. The characters, whose viewpoint about cops is evidently modeled entirely around the West Side Story number "Officer Krupke", also happen to be just about the ugliest bunch of kids you've ever seen.

The ducks are owned by Carol, who is played by a Gamorrean Guard. Carol has mastered basic duck-care skills such as feeding them gravel and strangling them. The ducks detest their cruel owner, and led by the hideous Father Duck, whose skin condition makes Two Face look like a Noxzema model, plan a coup, or maybe a coop, we're not sure.

The young star of our film goes after the fire issue head-on, inspired by the scorched home of one of his classmates. Undistracted by the question of "Should We Try To Help The Displaced Family of My Classmate?" our boy says, hey, what about ME? His parents promptly send him to seek answers at the fire station, so they can work on the new insurance scam their son's question has inspired.