Hetalia

In this episode: throwing stars, sharpened chopsticks, steel tanks, and other super-mega-manly stuff - like, for instance, Germany squatting in a dandelion patch. Also, YOU GUYS, HETALIA’S BACK!

The Axis boys investigate W Academy’s various clubs, including the Gourmet Club, the Witchcraft Club, and the Man, France is Looking REALLY Good Lately Club. Okay, that last one’s not a real thing. But, seriously, France is looking REALLY good lately.

It seems W Academy’s most ridiculous clubs each share the same single member. This member’s identity should not surprise you. Also, HUGE news! A NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN character shows up around two minutes into the episode!

Poor Russia. He had a pretty rough childhood. Everyone picked on him. Even random hamsters totally hated him. Stupid hamsters. Oh, and it turns out that Prussia has always, even as a little kid, been a total di… uh, handful. Come on, you know how he is.

This episode about France is heavy. It’s deep. There’s a wistful old man and two uncertain young lovers. Right in the middle of it all: ageless France. Is it a blessing or a curse that he stays forever yum? Wait, I meant YOUNG. FOREVER YOUNG. DAT HAIR.

This episode explores the intricacies of Romano and Spain’s adorably dysfunctional relationship. Also, somebody keeps peeing in Romano’s bed. He blames a rogue squirrel. But I ain’t buying it.

In today’s episode: Quality time in the bathtub. Also, America’s got some pretty sweet dance moves. Japan’s got some pretty sweet abs. And why am I just now hearing about this cat that apparently likes to sit in pots?

The blog-o-sphere erupts into flames when Estonia’s website gets hacked! With Russia as the main suspect, America attem-///error…(0

Belgium wants to throw a waffle party, but the only things her big bro Netherlands cares about are pickled fish, clean kitchens, and cold hard cash! He so blunt - and dreamy!

Young Greece waxes philosophical about his love of cats, his desire to pet cats, and his hunger for sweets. Then he takes a bath with Turkey. Turkey is super cool. And strong.

It’s April Fools’ Day and someone is forcing all the countries to dress up in embarrassing costumes! France is suddenly super small, and everyone is up in arms! Except that one guy who lives upstairs from America. I can never remember his name.

Japan’s peaceful soak in a nice, hot tub is ruined when America kicks in the window and invites him to a Halloween party – in his room! Also, England summons an old fairy to scare the pants off America. Scary no pants time!

It’s a super squee Christmas season except for one teeny problem – Santa’s gone missing! Luckily, France is still a dreamboat, and Canada has a Polar Bear! What does that mean!? Who cares! Polar Bears 4 Eva!

Today’s agenda consists of cool diplomatic poses, brothers pumping iron, sneaking into the American camp – and a shared love of hamburgers! BEEFCAKES BEEFCAKES BEEFCAKES!

France looks dashing whilst discoursing on the Hundred Years War and Joan of Arc’s tragic, yet beautiful, life. Did I mention how dreamy France’s hair looks when he twirls in the breeze? Well, it does. It really, really does.

You guys, there’s a royal wedding and afterward England’s Prince IS VISITING SEYCHELLES!!! Oh, wait, that’s supposed to be a big secret. Pretend you never read that. Just think of studly archangels and cardboard hats instead.

When the countries gather to show off their favorite horror movies, it’s nothing but boobs, bloody entrails, Japanese ghosts, creepy naked Santas, and mental stabbings! OMG WHAT WAS THAT NOISE!?

The dreamy boys of Hetalia love horror films! Canada’s opus features a cage full of pancakes and bears, Germany shows off its jugs and vampires, and America proves that a good cook can kill any zombie! Hold up – who in the eff is this Canada dude!?

Seborga hangs upside down from a tree and drips ketchup all over Wy’s yard. Meanwhile, Ukraine and Hungary dish on super cute costumes from throughout the ages! Get a load of Crete!

Japan throws a swanky party to celebrate his alliance with Germany and Italy. Germany wants to get down to business, but Italy is looking forward to snacks, calico kittens, and bath time!