Xavier: Renegade Angel

Xavier's sacred mantra brings solace to a sad, pathetic, pill-popping soul -- his own.

Xavier unleashes his revolutionary lifesaving maneuver all up on those who find theyselfs in need of his protection.

When Xavier sets him sights on friendship, the Energy Crisis won't know what hit it in the face.

Xavier returns to the scene of the crime: his childhood.

Xavier lifts homeless veterans up from the filth of the streets and into the filth of their meats.

When Xavier wakes up with no memories, the power of deja vu reigns supreme. When Xavier wakes up with no memories, the power of deja vu reigns supreme.

Just whenst you most expect it, Xavier's gratitude-starved heart shrieks out "Abandon ye lifequest!" and then wolfs down a steam-filled puddin' pie of limits.

A reporter gets his scoop on Xavier. Here cometh the twist: It turns out to be a scoop of Lotion. It's pretty cool. Or, did he?

Poor, poor Xavier awakes with his fate in the goo-drenched hands of the grandest menace of all time: You.

When Xavier runs out of desert across which to ramble, he drowns in a sea of completion.