A Bit of Fry and Laurie

When Timothy is called into his father's study for a word, it is revealed to him that he is the chosen one and he must set out to kill Pewnack the Destroyer, the Dark One, the Beast - who lives in Saffron Walden. The show closes with Hugh providing accompaniment on the piano as Stephen mixes up a 'Whisky Thunder'.

A pair of country boys perform their song 'There Ain't But One Way' which advocates 'kickin' ass' in order to solve most of the world's problems. Hugh reminisces about the variety of jobs he's had since moving to London including working as a freelance nudist and a couple of months in the white slave trade.

A customer in a shoe shop is surprised to learn that the shoes are not for sale, but actually available for pleasures of the flesh, he is eventually tempted by Fredericka the moccasin. Stephen remembers 'The day I forgot my legs' and there is a special version of A Question of Sport's 'What Happened Next?'

Jacobsen is called in to see his commanding officer in the US Army who is furious and tells him he is going to 'boil his ass in a bag, and have his ass for breakfast'. At an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting a new member stands up to confess his problem is that 'the starter motor seems to get stuck, especially in cold weather'.

An angry customer attempts to return a copy of Jane Eyre to the bookshop where he purchased it, his reason - 'it's complete balls'. Once again it's time to mix another cocktail at the piano, Hugh plays jazz as Stephen conjures up a 'Beef Goulash'.

The owner of a magic shop demonstrates some of his wares by cutting off his customer's finger in a trick guillotine, but he still manages to sell him some very realistic dog poo. Elizabeth Martin is cooking a selection of human ears, testicles and sweetbreads on her show 'Tahitian Kitchen'.