RiffTrax Shorts

Tic Toc Time Clock tells the tale of a gym coach gone rogue. Instead of rope-climbing or push ups, he makes his students arrange themselves in clock formations on the ground, presumably as part of some ancient ritual meant to make people finally like gym coaches. He fails. As will any kids who learned to tell time from Tic Toc Time Clock!

Say No To Strangers presents a world that's mostly sunshine, friendly policemen, and hopscotch...but also the occasional driver who pulls over to offer a some-strings-attached lollipop while patting the empty passenger seat. Mike, Bill, and Kevin encourage you to Say No To Strangers, and also to Evites, and pretty much anybody you've ever known, met, or loved. Just stay home by yourself.

Push your friend out of a boat! Start a fire in the yard with gasoline! Check out what's happening at the bottom of a neat ravine! The only consequence is repeated trips to the hospital where you'll get wrapped in bandages like a scary mummy by a friendly nurse, so you simply cannot lose! Live and Learn! Or don't and die, either way it makes for a very funny short.

Safety With Animals teaches kids important skills, like, which wild snakes you should pick up - yes some are OK! In order to protect the lives of the many, the filmmakers risked the lives of the few, specifically one sweet, confused little boy. Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill as they try to pet a dumpster dog while picking up venomous snakes, then call Child Protective Services on Safety With Animals!

It starts off like a classic safety short. An unreasonably happy man goes to work in a factory, which experienced safety short viewers will know is a sure sign that brutal disfigurement is just around the corner. But then, a phone call, and a twist! His carelessness has put not himself, but his family in danger! Leaving him to sit and imagine what went wrong for Ten Long (hilarious) Minutes!

Kevin is the new kid in class, and he's got typical teenage problems. His mom obsessively hoards coffee pots and his dad has an insane inability to live without garlic salt. Oh, and he's haunted by the ghost of a fellow student who died horribly in a bus accident last year.

Jack is a youngster who has trouble respecting The Other Fellow's Feelings. One day, the other fellow brings in a new bottle of perfume to show off to the ladies, and Jack bumps into the other fellow, knocking the perfume to the ground and breaking the bottle. After that, Jack follows the other fellow around saying "Stinky! Stinky!" Eventually the other fellow can't take it anymore!

The Day I Died is a fun, groovy, totally 70s take on the tragic consequences of teenage drunk driving. Come for the beach drinking, stay for the narrator yelling at relatives and friends as they walk by the dead kids' casket! Like one of these email forwards from your Grandma (complete with 36 point bright-red font) come to life, The Day I Died will scold its way into your heart!