John Safran's Race Relations

John Safran's been thinking: millions of Muslims are flooding the west. So many Mexicans are crossing the border, most of LA will soon speak Spanish. White Zimbabweans, Tamils and Turks are all on their way to the new world.

John flies to Sun City, California to get some support from anti-racism campaigner Jane Elliott. His interview leads him to Black Like Me, a book from the 1950s by a man who disguised himself to see what it felt like being black. His interest piqued, John goes to Chicago.

John's been reading books on Jewish marriage versus intermarriage. The Jews want him to get together with a Jew, saying that if he marries out, anti-Semitism will inevitably creep into his cross-cultural union. It's true some people are racist, but does that really mean John has to stop hitting on ethnics?

In his reading, John comes across Henry Makow, a fat, old white guy who went to the Philippines to find a bride. Makow claims that Asian women stay attractive for longer than Western women. Fascinated by this premise, John figures out a way to test the claim. It involves exceedingly awkward confrontations with his ex-girlfriends and excruciatingly tender moments with their mothers.

John recalls his adolescence, and a Jewish summer camp at which he was rebuffed by a love interest. Still not over it, John seeks solace in Henry Makow's book on Asian love, which claims that Asian women judge a man by his heart, not by his looks. To check if it's true John dons an Elephant Man costume and jets off to Thailand to see if his luck in love will improve outside of Jewtown 3183.

John has forever wanted to go out with non-Jewish girls, but he always had a vibe that his mother wasn't into it. As John's mum unexpectedly died several years ago, it's impossible to know what she truly thought. Or is it?

John has decided that Judaism is to blame for his failed interfaith relationships. He decides to explore another religion, and his research leads him to a branch of Christianity that really speaks to him – Christian Domestic Discipline. Accompanied by infuriating ex girlfriend Kristen, John zips off to Montgomery, United States where he is taught the art of Biblical spanking.

Peeved by his unsuccessful attempts to solve the cross-cultural love riddle, John decides to expose ethnic identity as a ridiculous social construct. What if he marries a non-Jew, and just tells everyone she's Jewish? Resolute, John wants to seek out the ultimate non-Jew - a Muslim. And not just any Muslim, John has decided to source a relative of Osama Bin Laden.