Goodness Gracious Me

Chunky Lafunga, heart-throb and veteran of more than 4,000 Bollywood films, brings his melodramatic style to the quintessentially English Pride and Prejudice. The Kapoors are so determined to be taken for English that they boast about how sexually repressed they are. And in a cracking musical finale, Punjabi Girl performs a special number to the tune of Aqua's Barbie Girl.

The Bhangramuffins question why there are never more than five Asians at a Saturday football match - because who would look after the family shop? And there is no pleasing Ironic Granny, even at her own birthday party.

Guru Maharishi Yogi welcomes viewers to his Temple of Enlightenment and tells the story of Krishna, which is remarkably similar to that of Star Wars. There are some wonderful memories from the Colonial Woman - like the execution of her Auntie and being flogged by a group of young fusiliers - and, on the musical side of things, there is a reworking of Men in Black.

Mrs Eatmore takes drastic measures to ensure that her dinner guests are well fed, Fixer Uncle proves that he can get anything cheaper - even sex and drugs, and the Melodramatic Family suffer more traumas on a family picnic. Meanwhile, the Maharaja Gourmet treats his guests to such delicacies as tigers' bums on crackers, and a dessert of buttock of chimp in a raspberry mousse.

An Indian couple remortgage their house to give their son everything he wants but yell at their daughter when she wants to borrow the hairdryer; and the Guru Maharishi Yogi launches his new spiritual guide to enlightenment after the success of his first book, which was made into the Hollywood blockbuster Basic Instinct.

In a special edition of Asian Gladiators, The Pharmacist competes against an Auntie. Meanwhile, Fat Boy takes part in his sports day with a big incentive at the finish. The Kapoors escape to the country for the weekend, Mrs I Can Make It At Home shows her approval of Blue Peter, and the Bhangramuffins get 'juggee with it'.

The Bhangramuffins enter into the spirit of Christmas and wonder exactly what their role will be in the Hounslow Multi-Cultural Interfaith Youth Community Centre's nativity play. Mr Everything Comes From India lays claim to Santa Claus and the Kapoors enjoy a traditional English Christmas with all the trimmings: including mince pies - this year without the minced beef!