RiffTrax Shorts

Not a creature is stirring, not even the stuffed, mummified mouse that's lovingly stapled to the floor. Sugarplums dance in the heads of children, causing the children to wonder, what's a sugarplum, and why would it dance so suggestively? At the heart of it all is a man with one simple goal-a long winter's nap, uninterrupted by any sort of clatter. Boy is he in for a surprise!

What are the Three Magic Words? Quality, freshness and flavor! How do we remember these? Because they are repeated approximately 837 times during this ten minute short! Join Mike, Kevin and Bill as they are serenaded about the joys of quality, fresh, flavorful pork. Over...and over...and over again...

In 1948, on a warm summer day in Beverly Hills, the world stood up and took notice for the first annual Parade of Aquatic Champions. The world then quickly realized why they had never thrown one before or ever would again. Take a belly flop with Mike, Kevin and Bill into the sea of tedium, bacteria and greatness that is the Parade of Aquatic Champions.

OK, we admit it. We have no idea what American Thrift is actually about, and we doubt anyone involved with its production did as well. But it's the special kind of enthusiastic incoherence that makes it a joyous short to riff. Mike, Kevin and Bill did their part and drastically reduced their lottery ticket spending, just to be able to bring you part II of American Thrift.

Molly Grows Up is the story of a girl asking the tough questions. Like most children, she can't wait to become an adult, despite all evidence that it's really not all it's cracked up to be. When will it be her turn? Join Mike, Kevin and Bill as they try desperately to be excused from Health Class before the showing of Molly Grows Up.

Captain Jinx is wreaking havoc on Hank's engine, and Hank's beloved husband speeds off to the mechanic to see what can be done about it. Will punches be thrown? Will Jinx junk Jerry's jalopy? And for all that is holy, what, who or when will be called free?! Find out these answers and more, when you join Mike, Kevin and Bill for the exciting conclusion to Call It Free!

The Story of a Teenage Drug Addict is the story of a teenager with plenty of reasons to become a drug addict. Everyone insists on calling him a teenager and making him attend high school, despite his obvious age of 40. He lives in a shoebox of a tenement apartment with his corpse-like mother, trading stories about why dad left in their constantly-shifting New York-ish accents.

Enter Hungry, Hungry Hippos. For centuries, it was rightly regarded as the pinnacle of game-dom and children the world over entered the "Race" to "hurry up and feed their face." However, recent revisionist history has begun to shift this perception, and a challenger to the throne is now regarded by some academics to be the greatest game of all time: The Following Instructions Game.