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PRIMETIME EMMYS® 2X nominee in 2013

Two And A Half Men

NA
IMDb 7.1200324 episodes
16+
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Episodes

  1. S1 E1 - Pilot
    September 21, 2003
    22min
    16+
    Commercial jingle writer Charlie Harper is a wealthy bachelor with a house at the beach, a Jaguar in the garage and an easy way with women.
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  2. S1 E2 - Big Flappy Bastards
    September 28, 2003
    21min
    13+
    Unsure how to properly discipline Jake, Charlie ignores him after the child forgets to stop feeding the seagulls and leaves the door open. As a result, the gaggle of birds enters the house.
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  3. S1 E3 - Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
    October 5, 2003
    21min
    13+
    When Alan's attempt to provide Jake with a fun-filled father/son weekend backfires, Charlie tries to console his brother by taking him to a local bar and getting Alan totally inebriated.
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  4. S1 E4 - If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
    October 12, 2003
    21min
    13+
    Charlie's longtime cleaning lady, Berta, quits her job, and Charlie quickly realizes he can't function without her. Alan tries to take Berta's place but doesn't succeed.
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  5. S1 E5 - Last Thing You Want is to Wind Up with a Hump
    October 19, 2003
    18min
    13+
    After a drunken night in Las Vegas, Charlie reluctantly attends one of Jake's soccer games. But Alan and Charlie soon discover the advantages of going to these matches.
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  6. S1 E6 - Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
    October 26, 2003
    20min
    13+
    Charlie rethinks the way he treats women when he, Alan and Jake are forced to cheer up a pitiful Evelyn after her serious new boyfriend terminates their relationship.
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  7. S1 E7 - If They Do Go Either Way They're Usually Fake
    November 2, 2003
    21min
    16+
    Charlie's beautiful friend Cindy frequently showers at Charlie's house after surfing. Jake sees a butterfly tattoo on Cindy's partially nude behind and later draws a picture of it.
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  8. S1 E8 - Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful
    November 9, 2003
    18min
    13+
    When Alan and Judith argue during a rehearsal of a play that Jake and his classmates are rehearsing, Charlie is forced to handle a roomful of fourth graders alone.
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  9. S1 E9 - Phase One, Complete
    November 16, 2003
    20min
    16+
    Charlie likes his sweet new girlfriend, Wendy, but he becomes concerned when Jake forms a strong friendship with her. Wendy charms Evelyn as well.
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  10. S1 E10 - Merry Thanksgiving
    November 23, 2003
    20min
    ALL
    When Charlie finds out that his favorite former girlfriend, Lisa, is getting married, he desperately tries to prove to her that he has become a better family man than her fiancé.
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  11. S1 E11 - Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
    December 14, 2003
    20min
    13+
    Charlie and Jake convince Alan to get a makeover when it appears Judith is moving forward since the breakup, sporting a new hairdo and new date.
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  12. S1 E12 - Camel Filters and Pheremones
    January 4, 2004
    20min
    13+
    When Charlie's cleaning woman, Berta, brings her sexy and rebellious 16-year-old daughter, Prudence, to Charlie's house, Jake develops a childish infatuation with her.
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  13. S1 E13 - Sarah Like Puny Alan
    January 11, 2004
    20min
    13+
    Alan worries that Charlie will become infected with Jake's contagious cold; however, Alan gets sick instead. Jake heals, and Charlie is fine.
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  14. S1 E14 - I Can't Afford Hyenas
    February 1, 2004
    20min
    13+
    When Charlie learns that his credit rating is ruined, and his debts are all overdue, he discovers that his accountant, Stan, is completely inept.
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  15. S1 E15 - Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
    February 8, 2004
    21min
    13+
    Charlie and Alan find Frankie, a sexy but seemingly crazy woman, hitting a car with a baseball bat. Despite Alan's warnings, Charlie becomes totally infatuated with her.
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  16. S1 E16 - That Was Saliva, Alan
    February 15, 2004
    21min
    16+
    Frankie, the beautiful and intriguing lady whom Charlie and Alan brought home after finding her bashing her therapist's car with a baseball bat.
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  17. S1 E17 - Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
    February 22, 2004
    19min
    13+
    Alan offends Charlie by choosing their crazy cousins as Jake's guardians if he and Judith were to die. Later, Alan does some errands and leaves Jake with Charlie.
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  18. S1 E18 - An Old Flame With a New Wick
    February 29, 2004
    20min
    13+
    Charlie agrees to meet with a former girlfriend who ended their relationship years earlier, leaving Charlie devastated. But Charlie's in for a huge surprise.
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  19. S1 E19 - I Remember the Coat Room, I Just Don't Remember You
    March 21, 2004
    19min
    13+
    Judith's sinister-but-sexy sister, Liz, plans to attend Jake's 11th birthday party. Alan asks Charlie--who had sex with Liz in the coatroom at Judith and Alan's wedding--to behave.
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  20. S1 E20 - Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
    April 18, 2004
    20min
    16+
    Jake becomes a brooding musician when he continuously plays "Smoke on the Water" on his guitar with an ever-present grumpy attitude. In order to cheer him up, Alan tries a father/son chat.
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  21. S1 E21 - No Sniffing, No Wowing
    May 2, 2004
    21min
    13+
    Alan takes Charlie to meet with his sexy and determined divorce attorney, Laura, after Judith expresses concern that Charlie is a bad influence on Jake.
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  22. S1 E22 - My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
    May 9, 2004
    20min
    13+
    Alan succumbs to Judith's demand that they take Jake to therapy every week because it's what all the other divorced parents are doing, but he doesn't realize that he, too, is having issues.
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  23. S1 E23 - Just Like Buffalo
    May 16, 2004
    20min
    13+
    When Jake imitates one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women decide that Charlie's home is an unfit environment for the child.
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  24. S1 E24 - Can You Feel My Finger?
    May 23, 2004
    21min
    16+
    One of Charlie's many women fears she's pregnant. When Alan realizes that this is not Charlie's first pregnancy scare, he suggests a permanent solution for Charlie--a vasectomy.
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Details

More info

Content advisory
Violencealcohol usesmokingfoul languagesexual content
Subtitles
None available
Directors
James WiddoesGary HalvorsonPamela FrymanJeff MelmanRob SchillerAndy AckermanTed WassAndrew D. WeymanLee AronsohnJon Cryer
Producers
Warner Bros.
Starring
Ashton KutcherJon CryerAmber Tamblyn
Studio
Warner Bros.
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