1000 Ways to Die

Cross dresser has bad start to new year; Girl gymnast does a nasty split; Cremator gets creamed; Liquid cocaine is not an energy drink; Stewardess makes unscheduled landing.

A sign spinner spins out; A mob hit goes bad; Cloud seeding gets rocky; Recipe thief gets her goose cooked; A corporate spy hits the fan; Tobacco chewer gets chewed out; Mad scientist gets reanimated.

A murderer busts out of the nut house; Big boobies do in a stripper; Mean caretaker gets pickled; Free runner runs out of time; Softballer busts a gut; Two hunters get dogged.

A hairdresser swallows too many 'leg spreaders'; Katrina looters get a shock; 1920's pipe-hitting homeboys; Phony doctor gets touched by a leper; Scissor lift cuts a bookie; A mistress loses face.

A billionaire bottoms out; It's hard out there for a Russian pimp; Gang bangers play doctor; A pyromaniac gets burned; An ice cream man gets iced; A bad actor needs a hand.

An email scammer gets deleted; A hot co-ed flunks out; A grave robber digs his own; A war lord snorts crystal death; A couple screw themselves to death in mid-air.

The roommate from hell gets sent back; Death crashes a terrorist wedding; A big box falls on small heads; Self-blood transfusion is never a good idea; A gangster spills his guts.

A deadbeat dad goes through the roof; A stump humper gets eyeballed; A drinking game turns deadly; A dummy goes from spying to dying; Video gamer gets poned; A mover stops moving.

A jersey chaser gets plugged; OCD stands for ‘of course (you're) dead’; A terrorist eats himself to death; An animal abuser gets dog boned; A massage parlor patron has an unhappy ending.

A disco king hits the floor; A sauna contest gets gaseous; An upskirting perv gets busted; A meathead blows himself (up); A pot farmer gets munchied; A football coach splits his uprights.

Neo-nazi opens can of whoop ass; Epileptic stripper goes lights out; Poser diver washes out; Drug smugglers get caught red handed; Voyeur gets hood winked; Stalker gets shafted.

A hot welder goes down on the job; Unfaithful wife can't cheat death; '20's gangster gets steamed; Mother-in-law from hell goes back; Assassin is allergic to dying; Drunk wifey gets mowed down.

A Medieval German gets stoned; Bachelor gets butted out; Con man guru flames out; Dog hater gets boned; Juvenile delinquent hates Farmville; Car thief becomes roadkill; Girl gets waxed off.

Total jerk gets cut down; Stalker gets smoked out; Football fanatic goes down in barfight; Drug addict gets crushed; Tomb raider goes batty; Hooker goes down on job; Terrorists learn about drones.