RiffTrax Shorts

The film presents, in vivid detail, what a "Family" might do with some "Food" (no spoilers here). Do you feel guilty about the ease with which you procure fine foods at your local supermarket? No? Well you should. Mike, Kevin and Bill will take away that stupid PlayStation if you don't come down here right now for some Families: Food and Eating!

Will the illiterate actress learn to read in time to snag a role in the big school musical? Will the mechanic put down the socket wrench and pick up the books? Will the burgeoning basketball star continue doing things exactly as he was before, while still making more money for one game than most families earn in a year? Tune in to Reading: Who Needs It? with Mike, Kevin and Bill to find out!

Kittens: Birth & Growth answers the important question of the Origin of Cats, and teaches kids valuable lessons about getting excited for, and then immediately neglecting, adorable new pets. Watch and learn now, because you can rest assured the cats are watching and learning everything about us. Mike, Kevin, & Bill can has kitten short nowz?

Drawing For Beginners: The Rectangle is as good a jumping off point as any...for weeding out the dullards who actually need instruction about drawing rectangles and who clearly have no business ever picking up an artistic implement of any type, lest they injure themselves or others. Maybe they'd be happier watching the Number Munchers demo screen.

This plea for reason provides a snapshot of some anti-seatbelt sentiments from the 1980s. For example, "I've never worn one, but they look uncomfortable," "Hey, I'm a busy guy, I don't have time for this," and "Children are invincible." The film passive-aggressively debunks these powerful arguments in a noble attempt to save lives and subliminally advertise the safe, luxurious Audi sedan.

On his walk, Mr. Moto (who is a monkey) undertakes the demented quest of traversing the entire alphabet, from A to Z, seeing one animal for each letter. Why he has chosen to spend his day this way is a mystery, especially seeing as he is a monkey. But it's an action packed journey full of mischief and exotic animals. And did we mention that he is a monkey?

A rallying point for aquarium owners, or aquarists, the film demonstrates just how exciting these bacteria farms can be. It does so by simulating the experience of staring at an impressively ordinary grade school aquarium for an extended period of time.

Before Pepe LePew ever skittered down a red carpet, one pioneering stinker broke the stench barrier. That skunk was Gregory who comes from a time when men were men, women were broads and our president was bald. Feisty and fetid, he's a putrid pugilist who won't back down from a showdown, be it with man, beast or heavy industrial machinery.

Thrown together in a matter of hours, Your Chance to Live rails against modern man's dependence on technology with the vibrant coherency of a raving street corner derelict.