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PRIMETIME EMMYS® 2X nominee in 2013

Two And A Half Men

The boys are back for a snappy, smart season of TV's number 1 comedy hit. Andwhile a drop-dead gorgeous parade of Sandys, Mandis and Kandis march inand out of Charlie's Malibu beach house, the true heart of the seriesremains the makeshift family that calls this place home – includingcarefree bachelor Charlie, his finicky chiropractor brother Alan and Alan's outspoken young son Jake.
IMDb 7.1200324 episodes
16+
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Episodes

  1. S3 E1 - Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
    September 18, 2005
    21min
    13+
    Charlie is a well-to-do bachelor with a house at the beach, a Mercedes in the garage and an easy way with women. His casual Malibu lifestyle was interrupted by his tightly wound brother.
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  2. S3 E2 - Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
    September 25, 2005
    21min
    13+
    Jake's school principal demands to meet immediately with Alan concerning a picture Jake drew of a large-breasted schoolmate...
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  3. S3 E3 - Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
    October 2, 2005
    21min
    13+
    Charlie is dismayed to learn that Alan's recent dating spree has been with Alan's ex-wife, Judith. Charlie fears he will rarely get to see Jake if Alan and Judith reconcile.
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  4. S3 E4 - Your Dismissive Attitude Towards Boobs
    October 9, 2005
    21min
    16+
    Alan infuriates Charlie when he gives Berta permission to move into the beach house for a couple of days.
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  5. S3 E5 - We Called It Mr. Pinky
    October 16, 2005
    21min
    13+
    After a woman Charlie has been having sex with professes her love for him, he responds inappropriately and suffers from impotence.
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  6. S3 E6 - Hi, Mr. Horned One
    October 23, 2005
    21min
    13+
    Charlie is thrilled that he's dating Isabella (JODI LYN O'KEEFE - "Nash Bridges"), a wild, sexually uninhibited woman--until Alan points out that she's a spooky Satan worshiper.
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  7. S3 E7 - Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
    November 6, 2005
    21min
    13+
    Charlie finds himself in a compromising position after getting drunk and spending the evening with his stalker, Rose, celebrating her birthday.
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  8. S3 E8 - That Voodoo That I Do
    November 13, 2005
    21min
    16+
    After Charlie's romantic overtures towards Mia, an attractive ballet teacher, are rejected, Charlie tries to prove to Alan that he can persuade Mia to go on a date with him.
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  9. S3 E9 - Madame and her Special Friend
    November 20, 2005
    21min
    13+
    A wealthy, elderly woman named Norma (Academy Award and multiple Emmy Award winner CLORIS LEACHMAN - "Malcolm in the Middle," "Spanglish") is romantically interested in Alan.
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  10. S3 E10 - Something Salty and Twisted
    November 27, 2005
    21min
    13+
    Alan organizes a family dinner to celebrate the publication of a newspaper article that describes him as a "good doctor, good neighbor and a good guy," but he's crushed when his mother, Evelyn, isn't impressed.
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  11. S3 E11 - Santa's Village of the Damned
    December 18, 2005
    21min
    13+
    When Alan dates a cooking instructor, Sandy, both he and Charlie gain weight.
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  12. S3 E12 - That Special Tug
    January 8, 2006
    21min
    13+
    Charlie and Alan take Jake to a friend's house and go out for some sibling bonding at the movies, but their night is ruined when Alan freaks out…
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  13. S3 E13 - Humiliation is a Visual Medium
    January 22, 2006
    21min
    13+
    No one believes Charlie when he says that his relationship with Mia is getting serious, and everyone really thinks he's lying…
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  14. S3 E14 - Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
    February 5, 2006
    21min
    13+
    After a month and a half of abstinence, Charlie is quite eager to consummate his relationship with Mia.
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  15. S3 E15 - My Tongue is Meat
    February 26, 2006
    21min
    16+
    Charlie's lifestyle causes tension with Mia. Charlie can't keep pace with the healthy routine that Mia has introduced into their relationship.
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  16. S3 E16 - Ergo, The Booty Call
    March 5, 2006
    21min
    16+
    Concerned that he is dating a woman half his age--and mortified to introduce her to Evelyn--Alan tries to avoid bringing his sexy 22-year-old girlfriend, Kandi (recurring guest star APRIL BOWLBY), to Jake's birthday party. Meanwhile, Rose continues her passive-aggressive pursuit of Charlie.
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  17. S3 E17 - The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
    March 12, 2006
    21min
    13+
    When he is nominated for an advertising award, Charlie boycotts the banquet, having lost several years in a row to his cocky competitor, Archie.
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  18. S3 E18 - The Spit-Covered Cobbler
    March 19, 2006
    21min
    16+
    Alan gets into financial trouble because he keeps paying the expenses of his young girlfriend, Kandi (recurring guest star APRIL BOWLBY). When Kandi's old car breaks down, Alan leases a new one for her. Charlie warns him to break up with her, but Alan spends his last dime on Kandi's root canal and can't pay alimony to Judith, forcing Charlie to cover for him.
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  19. S3 E19 - Golly Moses, She's A Muffin
    April 9, 2006
    21min
    16+
    Kandi (recurring guest star APRIL BOWLBY) moves in with Alan and Charlie, causing tension in the house.
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  20. S3 E20 - Always a Bridesmaid Never A Burro
    April 23, 2006
    21min
    13+
    Charlie is now dating Kandi's (recurring guest star APRIL BOWLBY) mother, Mandi (recurring guest star GAIL O'GRADY).
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  21. S3 E21 - And the Plot Moistens
    April 30, 2006
    21min
    16+
    Jake's teacher, Francine (JULIA CAMPBELL), calls Alan and Judith into her classroom to discuss Jake's lack of interest in school.
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  22. S3 E22 - Just Once with Aunt Sophie
    May 7, 2006
    21min
    13+
    When a cute girl from Jake's school invites Jake to a party, Charlie butts in on Alan's milestone moment with his son by offering his own words of wisdom on women.
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  23. S3 E23 - Arguments for the Quickie
    May 14, 2006
    21min
    13+
    When Charlie finds out that his ex-girlfriend, Mia (recurring guest star EMMANUELLE VAUGIER), is in town with her dance troupe and wants him to come to her performance, he opts not to go and tries to behave as if he were no longer attracted to her.
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  24. S3 E24 - That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
    May 21, 2006
    21min
    13+
    With Charlie and Mia (recurring guest star EMMANUELLE VAUGIER) arranging their wedding, their families meet, and things immediately begin to fall apart.
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Details

More info

Content advisory
Violencealcohol usesmokingfoul languagesexual content
Subtitles
None available
Directors
James WiddoesGary HalvorsonPamela FrymanJeff MelmanRob SchillerAndy AckermanTed WassAndrew D. WeymanLee AronsohnJon Cryer
Producers
Chuck LorreLee AronsohnEric TannenbaumKim TannenbaumMark BurgOren Koules
Starring
Charlie SheenJon CryerAngus T. Jones
Studio
Warner Bros.
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