Bad Education

Alfie turns up for the new term with a terrible hair-cut - thanks to his father - and learns that, for the school's annual swimming gala, there is to be a synchronized diving contest.

Alfie is shocked when Kevin Schwimer, an all-American Olympic medallist with a penchant for charitable deeds and marathons, arrives at the school.

After Alfie plays a cruel prank at her expense, Miss Pickwell goes missing. Her car is found by the Severn Bridge with a note to say she has jumped to her death, driven to suicide by Alfie.

Alfie does not take to Miss Pickwell's equally officious replacement Professor Celia Green, especially when she interrupts Fraser's dating show which he has organized for Valentine's Day.

Miss Gulliver is peeved when she is not allowed to give the drugs awareness lecture, that job going to the ultra-trendy India, who actually takes drugs herself. Anxious to impress India, Alfie invites her to a rave but learning that no pupil has any drugs to sell, makes his own.

When Fraser gives the Nigerian finance minister all the school's funds hoping for a sound return the school faces bankruptcy and Professor Green introduces austerity measures by selling off all its equipment. With unemployment looming Miss Gulliver plans to move to Soweto and, desperate to stop her, Alfie organizes a fund-raising day.

Alfie is reluctant to direct the end of term Christmas play given that his mother failed to turn up to see him in his primary school play. However, when the class cannot decide on 'The Nutcracker' or 'Robocop' as their choice Alfie writes 'Robocracker' about a super-hero who saves the world.