Bizarre ER

In tonight's programme, a man whose nostrils are packed to bursting point with bandages has to have the stuffing extracted; a housewife who's performed haberdashery on her husband, stitching up his cut arm with a needle and thread - and no anaesthetic; a dog walker who has a finger pulled off after getting in caught in the lead of her runaway pooch.

Tonight's programme features a butcher impaled on a meat hook; a woman who's broken her hip... killing a wasp; a gardener undergoing emergency surgery to salvage his fingers lacerated by a lawnmower; and how medics saved a man who was scalped after getting his hair caught in an industrial lathe.

Tonight's programme features a teenager who's literally shot himself in the foot; a walker bitten by an adder, Britain's only venomous snake; a woman left with her heel hanging off after trying to manoeuvre a boat with her foot; Plus a Jogger struck by a million volt bolt of lightning conducted through the crucifix hanging round his neck.

Tonight's programme features a man with bizarre ballooning lips, a frustrated farmer with an obliterated knee, courtesy of a runaway sheep; a mechanic who's carved up his finger in a car fan belt. Plus the stomach churning story of a DIY enthusiast who nearly died after excavating his intestines with an angle grinder.

Tonight's programme features a man bitten by his landlord; a toddler attacked by a deckchair; a butcher who's made mincemeat of his own thumb. Plus the astonishing story of a woman whose eye was devoured by a flesh eating bug.

Tonight's programme features a teenager who superglues her fingers together applying false nails; a granny who mangles her ankle after moshing in church; a DIY enthusiast whose attempt at woodwork turns into the East Anglian Chainsaw Massacre. Plus the schoolboy skewered like a human kebab - on a flagpole.

Tonight's programme features a supermarket worker who's sliced off his fingertip, and brought it to casualty in a carrier bag; a toddler who's hidden cash in his gullet for three months; a carpet fitter knocked out after accidently inhaling too much aerosol adhesive. Plus a freak accident with a cow leaves a farmer with her jaw hanging off her face.

Tonight's programme features a woman's rugby rout that lands a whole scrumful of players in casualty; a Health and Safety instructor with a hole in his head after walking into a car door; a chef who serves pizza with a finger tip topping after an accident with a meat slicing machine. Plus the shop fitter who had a two metre steel rod plunge from the ceiling into his eye.

Tonight's programme features an agricultural lecturer who's been poked in the eye by a knife covered in cow dung; a taxi driver left with a broken wrist after slipping on sick left by a puking passenger, a door glazer who's shot himself in the finger with a nail gun. Plus a man saved by surgeons after accidentally hacking his head in half with an angle grinder.

Tonight's programme features a pig handler landed in casualty after being charged by a sow; a trumpeter who takes off the top of his finger in a bike chain; a pensioner who's a sight for sore eyes after accidently using olbas oil instead of eye drops. Plus a man whose scalp was shaved off in a car crash, and how surgeons saved him by blowing up his head with balloons.