Comedy Central Presents

Marc Maron waxes philosophical about how bitter Jesus would be at age 50, the challenges of having a bipolar dad and how to make Earth a properly functioning planet.

John Heffron explains the downside of being a newlywed, compares marriage to work life and describes his childhood woes.

Andrew Kennedy talks about confusing people with his biracial heritage, questions his dad's business sense and recalls growing up in the whitest town on Earth.

Nick Di Paolo talks about the death of Pope John Paul II, trying to get his wife pregt and the proper approach to plastic surgery.

Dov Davidoff discusses his drug history, the process of finding someone decent to date and the time he accidentally outed his cousin.

Kyle Grooms explains why LensCrafters is a better investment than Harvard, how Americans are water snobs and why George W. Bush is the only American the world actually hates.

Bob Marley details the ways that marriage is making him stupider, airs his grievences about restaurants and discusses the sensuality of dessert.

Lisa Landry explains what a "muffin top" is, why "Law & Order" keeps her from jogging and the perils of marrying someone smarter than you.

Tom Papa dispels the princess myth, details liberal uses for peanut butter and warns against the dangers of drinking tequila.

Maria Bamford explains why she'd like someone to come in and help her with problems, which include hope paralysis and anxiety gremlins.

Finesse Mitchell recalls his experience with a male-enhancement drug, explains why he loves his tough girlfriend and encourages New York City tourists to walk faster.

Loni Love adores her 99-cent store, her body and the 1980s, despite the era's jacked-up fashion.

Chelsea Handler explains why she enjoys the numbing effects of a cocktail when dealing with insufferable parents, bloggers and terrible dates.

Deon Cole talks about performing stand-up in Alaska, fantasizes about having super powers and recalls the time he interrupted his mom's Bible study.

Paul F. Tompkins bristles at TSA restrictions, the presumptuousness of text message technology and the preponderance of terrifying dogs.

Kyle Dunnigan impersonates Ray Romano impersonating Christopher Walken, then uses a looping machine to describe a sultry hookup and recount a bitter breakup.

Ian Bagg recalls seeing Siegfried & Roy in Las Vegas, examines the cons of Catholicism and weighs in on Lance Armstrong's Tour de France winning streak.

Josh Sneed talks about modern children's cartoons, KFC's collectible buckets and the time he farted on Jessica Simpson.

Mitch Fatel talks about making babies, his love of certain types of underwear and why women should initiate breakups.

Howard Kremer raps about his special powers, and shares cheap and creative ways to keep women interested.