Crank Yankers

Elmer calls about anal beads, and Jimmy's son has problems with soap.

Spoonie Luv looks into karate, and Terrence rents a candy store for Rosie O'Donnell.

Snoop Dogg wants to be a senator, and Little Kevin asks a librarian for a definition.

George Zucco has a testicular problem, and Terrence plans a paintball outing.

Hadassah complains about a perfume rash on her vagina, and Birchum reports an alien abduction.

Gladys gets glued to a toilet seat, and Niles Standish wants to be a cowboy.

Birchum needs swimming lessons for his twins, and Elmer complains to a park ranger.

Elmer wants to book a gay cruise, and Danny speaks with a rabbi about Judaism.

Chip thanks a building supplies store, and Spoonie Luv needs driving lessons.

Gladys offers a conjugal visit, and Niles plans his wedding ceremony.

Elmer gets trapped in a fold-up bed, and Arthur needs a singing telegram.

Birchum inquires about a sea burial, and Cammie has paranormal breast implants.

Elmer finds gay porn on his computer, and Larson needs a house sitting job.

Cammie wants an hourly car rental, and Danny prices an engagement ring.

Gladys warns a toy store about slime, and Birchum applies to be a mall Santa.

Bob Odenkirk tries to overcome his speech impediment, and Niles wants to hunt the most dangerous prey.

Elmer plans a reunion at a brothel, and Bobby scouts a retirement home for talent.

The Concierge asks a guest survey questions, and Katie needs help with a book report.

Gladys needs breastfeeding advice, and Cammie pitches her sex education course.

Stompie sings to an escort service, and Wally has a bug problem.

Gladys hits the jackpot at a broken ATM, and Theo wants to adopt a kitten.

Jim Gaffigan offers pest control services, and Landalious applies to be a sportscaster.

Eminem wants a tattoo for his 10-year-old daughter, and Jeff plans a surprise birthday party.

Birchum hires mourners for his father's funeral, and Marcia needs daycare for her wolf-child.

Gladys develops her negatives, and Tobias hones his psychic skills.