Dilbert

It's Dilmom's birthday and Dilbert must get her a gift. Dogbert suggests that Dilbert go shopping at the mall, but an unspeakable event in Dilbert's childhood has him afraid to set foot in that horrible monstrosity known as The Mall. But, the only thing that Dilmom wants for her birthday is something that left their lives years ago -- and it was left at The Mall. So, a petrified Dilbert bucks ...

Dilbert has a short death experience and is disappointed to learn that the afterlife is nothing but a cubicle. Also, it's Wally's birthday and the office gang brings out the "Birthday Kit" which includes a tablecloth on which Wally wipes his chocolate filled face. When The Boss is looking for a time capsule to put into the unmanned space rocket that The Company is launching, he has Asok use th...

Dilbert creates a blue duck on his computer and from his innocent drawing the art world is turned upside down. Dilbert becomes a famous artist with women falling at his feet. The Boss and the others at the company market The Blue Duck across the nation and Europe so that it is the hottest art craze around. Dilbert is kidnapped by some art thugs and taken to their lair where he meets Leonardo D...

The day starts out innocently enough: The Boss is driving to work while listening to a self-help tape and so enraptured is he that he runs over several people and generally makes a menace of himself. Meanwhile a blood drive is taking place at work and Dilbert is the only suitable candidate to drain. So, after giving many, many pints of blood, Dilbert tries to drive home -- seriously impaired b...

Fast food restaurants are advertising "The Dupey" free with a meal. But, Dilbert discovers that The Dupey doesn't even exist. Then he is informed that his company is marketing the imaginary item. The Boss puts Dilbert in charge of creating The Dupey to go with the existing marketing campaign and Dilbert invents the cutest little Dupey, a mechanical baby that learns to walk, eat, etc. at an acc...

Dilbert and the security guard at his office building exchange some hostile words and before they know it they have made a bet: They will change jobs for one day. If Dilbert loses, he gives up his house. If the security guard loses he gives up his borrowed car. So, the two set out to switch jobs and Dilbert soon realizes that the job of security is a lot tougher than he thought. When he stumbl...

When the company is unexpectedly faced with a surplus of 20 billion dollars, the Boss decides a merger with a less efficient corporation is the only way to unload the money. Dogbert decides to broker the deal with the only company willing to merge, a group of aliens whose idea of synergy is sucking the brains out of their new employees (literally). Meanwhile, Alice is less than thrilled at the...

Dilbert invents what he thinks will end world hunger -- the Tomeato. And, he knows the perfect place to test his invention: the third world country of Elbonia -- where his foster child lives. So, Wally and Dilbert set out for Elbonia with the Tomeato in hopes that they can cure the country of its famine. But, when they get there, they are shocked to see that the country is not in a famine at a...

When the company is sued by a "tree-loving" society, the Boss suggests an off-site meeting at Dilbert's house. The problem is that Dilbert's obnoxious neighbors, the Pierponts, have adopted an elephant and built a huge wood pen for their new pet above Dilbert's house. During a rousing ice-breaker game of paint ball, the tree lovers' leader kills the elephant and destroys Dilbert's house in the...

When the executives discover that the engineers know there are other jobs available, they decide to promote Dilbert and show the employees that they really can have a "career" at the company. The problem is that Dilbert doesn't want to be a manager, so they give him an assistant instead. Alice is peeved to learn that Dilbert has an assistant and she doesn't, so she gets Catbert to appoint Asok...

Dilbert turns to the Internet in search of a new computer. He has it delivered to the office to impress the other engineers. His idea backfires when the Boss signs for it and it turns out to be an outdated model instead of the state of the art system he had ordered. He runs into problem after problem while trying to return it. He finally finds out the location of the company, Comp-U-Comp, and ...

Dilbert addresses the problem of his overflowing cubicle, but discovers there is nowhere in the office to trash the obsolete equipment he and his coworkers have acquired. They decide to venture through the building to find an unused cubicle to stash their trash. However, when they find it they are so overjoyed that Loud Howard inadvertently lets out the secret to nearby workers who wonder what...

Dilbert makes a small model rocket to find other traces of life in space. When Ratbert accidentally pushes a button, it launches the rocket, which then detects alien life and takes samples. As it comes back to earth, it crashes into the unfertilized eggs of a surrogate hillbilly woman (for a dying billionaire), a cow and a sperm bank, stocked with engineers' sperm. The rocket then crashes into...

Dilbert sees the picture of his ultrasound and can't believe his baby looks like a bowl of fruit. Dogbert and Garbage Man suggest he sell his story to the tabloids, but Dilbert remains skeptical. However, when Dilbert tells the Boss he is pregnant, the Boss threatens to fire him if he has the baby. Dilbert and Dogbert decide that going to the tabloids is the only way Dilbert will be able to su...

It's company picnic time again and the engineering department is desperate to beat marketing in the annual softball game. The Boss introduces the Crapulets team from engineering to the Company Hall of Fame hoping to end their losing streak against the MarketGurus. Practice is awful and Dogbert becomes the team's new coach. With Dilbert pitching, the team might have a chance. Dilbert's personal...

Dogbert writes a book claiming pepper is a miracle herb that cures Chronic Cubicle Syndrome. Dilbert witnesses Dogbert making the entire thing up and is appalled when people start falling for his claims. Dogbert pushes his book on a talk show and the Boss decides to use Chronic Cubicle Syndrome as their next market opportunity. Dilbert is in charge of developing a product to combat CCS. He rel...

Dilbert is in charge of a new voting system project for the government. He creates an Internet Voting Network allowing people to vote from their own computer at election time. He expects it to produce the highest voter turnout ever. Dilmom is upset with this because without it, senior citizens were the only people who took the time to vote. Now elections might actually be fair. Dilbert also ge...