To get a top-of-the-line massage free, Jerry asks his dentist friend to sign a note saying Jerry, George and Elaine need treatment from a certified physical therapist for medical reasons. When the doctor is later suspected of insurance fraud, Jerry must figure a way to save his friend's reputation and career.
After a tortuous evening with a new girlfriend, George tells her they should stop seeing each other. He then makes the mistake of accommodating her when she insists on hearing the reason. Meanwhile, Elaine bites her lip as Kramer's wild romance with her roommate heats up.
Jerry and Elaine visit Jerry's parents in Florida, where Jerry's father is being honored by his condominium association. At dinner, Jerry admires a special astronaut's pen owned by one of the association members. When Jerry accepts it as a gift, he starts a mountain of tension with his folks, who feel Jerry should have refused.
Jerry is stuck at home when he gets roped into dog-sitting a rambunctious hound. Without Jerry around, George and Elaine find they have little in common. Meanwhile, Kramer insists it's the absolute end for him and his girlfriend and that he's going to end the relationship.
The library contacts Jerry about an overdue book dating back to 1971. According to Kramer, with a fine of 5 cents a day for 20 years, the cost could come to $50,000. In a flashback to when Jerry and George were teens in high school, Jerry attempts to recall exactly when he returned the book in question.
Jerry and his friends get lost in a parking garage.
Noticing that few people stop to eat at a certain small neighborhood cafe, Jerry feels sorry for the owner and stops in to suggest ways of increasing business - which causes the restaurant to do even worse. Meanwhile, George agrees to take an I.Q. test as part of his girlfriend's research project and then fears she'll find out he's not as smart as he's been saying he is.
Jerry frantically tries to identify the mystery woman who anonymously whispered naughty suggestions into the tape recorder he used to record his stand-up comedy act. But when Elaine confides to George that the voice was hers, George sees her in a more sensual light! Hoping to impress her, he procures an ancient Chinese potion guaranteed to grow hair.
Jerry is tom between his libido and his brain when he debates whether to continue dating a sexy, gorgeous -- but self-centered and witless -- actress. Meanwhile, George can't help staring at the unusually large nose of an otherwise attractive woman he's been seeing.
Elaine and Jerry are left stranded at a party after George goes home with his date.
Jerry accidentally causes Elaine's breakup with her boyfriend, a recovering alcoholic, when he resumes drinking. George shows his gratitude to Elaine for finding him a job by buying her a discounted cashmere sweater, hoping she won't notice the slight blemish in the fabric.
No sooner does Elaine tell Jerry the virtues of dating an older man than she decides to break up with her 66-year-old beau -- a split made more complicated when he has a heart attack in front on Jerry's apartment. To make matters worse, George flunks his new job of parking cars -- which blocks traffic and an approaching ambulance.
Riding the subway proves both boom and bust for Jerry and his friends.
Jerry's practical joke causes George problems with his new girlfriend.
Jerry frets that his creepy neighbor will awake from his coma and find out that he's been dating the sick man's passionate girlfriend. Meanwhile, Elaine is out of her mind with hunger after fasting to prepare for an ulcer test, and George delays a Caribbean vacation to consult a psychic about his fear of a plane crash.
Against their better judgment, Jerry and Elaine decide to play matchmaker for the jobless, dateless and possibly hopeless George, setting him up with a single friend of Elaine's.
While performing his comedy act, Jerry meets Keith Hernandez (as himself), the former New York Mets all-star and one of Jerry's favorite baseball players. But Jerry finds himself competing for his new pal's time with Elaine, who has caught Keith's eye. And shameless George will do anything to extend his unemployment benefits, including dating a bureaucrat's plain-looking daughter.
When George's car breaks down at the airport, Jerry coolly convinces a waiting limo driver that they are his intended passengers. Their clever ruse turns ominous, however, when they learn the real client is a neo-Nazi -- and they're en route to a rally where violent protesters are eager to get their hands on their quarry.
Jerry witnesses a hit-and-run and tracks down the driver, but his good intentions get sidetracked when he discovers she's a beautiful woman -- and willing to go out with him. Meanwhile, George flees town when he has an affair with the wife of a belligerent husband whose revenge knows no bounds.
Jerry's new girlfriend gives his friends Elaine, George and Kramer prime VIP seats to a Yankees baseball game. But when the trio is tossed out for a minor altercation, Jerry backs up his friends and calls it quits with the woman -- until she woos him back with a piece of plagiarized prose.
As Jerry settles in to watch a boxing match on TV, George and Elaine return with his borrowed car and concoct a wild story to explain why it's developed a clanking noise. In addition, the reckless George heatedly debates geometric angles with a fellow parallel parker who challenges his right to the same precious space.
When Kramer invites himself over once too often, Jerry demands he return the spare set of keys Jerry loaned to him, which virtually ends their open-door friendship. Distraught and overwrought, Kramer heads west to California and meets new and interesting people.