The Brittas Empire

Helen Brittas receives the tragic news that her husband has been killed. Soon, the customers come flooding back to the leisure centre and Helen even plans to re-marry. However, the rumors of Gordon's death have apparently been greatly exaggerated.

Carole is pregnant again, but she doesn't know who the father is. It happened at Julie's New Year fancy dress party but she and Helen both went dressed as tigers. Could it be a case of mistaken identity?

Gordon is on tenterhooks awaiting a visit by the most feared leisure centre inspector in the Southern region. Despite all his meticulous preparations, it's just his luck that there is an incontinent pigeon in the gym. It is also Helen's birthday, and she is dismayed with Gordon's gift. He thinks it practical, she thinks it the final straw. Will Brittas lose his wife and his job on the same day?

Gordon is unable to leave his office, his feet having been set in concrete after a misunderstanding with the Rotarians. Thinking that the centre is suffering from Sick Building Syndrome, he calls in a specialist.

A concert piano is being delivered to the leisure centre for an evening charity recital by the distinguished Russian pianist Vladimir Petrov. While Carole demonstrates an unexpected talent on the ivories, Vladimir is having trouble keeping his fingers intact.

The centre is closed again, and the staff are having a fire drill, Brittas style. Meanwhile, Helen hopes to replace her pills with a loving relationship. She has prepared a picnic lunch for her and Gordon in his office, but other things keep taking priority.

Colin's herbal remedies cause havoc at the centre when some labor-inducing figwort meant for Carole is eaten by a farmer's prize-winning pregnant cow.