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Two and a Half Men

7.1200512 SeasonsX-Ray16+

Welcome back to the Harpers' Malibu beach house – home to one of the funniest TV comedy hits in a long, long time. Resolute bachelor Charlie's trying (but not very hard) to remember the name of the girl currently taking a shower upstairs.

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العربية中文(繁體)DanskDeutschEnglish [CC]Español (Latinoamérica)Español (España)SuomiFrançaisIndonesiaItaliano日本語한국어Norsk BokmålNederlandsPolskiPortuguês (Brasil)Português (Portugal)РусскийSvenska中文(简体)
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DeutschEnglishEspañol (España)Español (Latinoamérica)FrançaisItalianoPolskiPortuguês
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Episodes (24)

  1. 1. Back off Mary Poppins
    This video is currently unavailable
    September 20, 2004
    21min
    16+
    Subtitles
    Subtitles
    العربية, 中文(繁體), Dansk, Deutsch, English [CC], Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Русский, Svenska, 中文(简体)
    Audio Languages
    Audio Languages
    Deutsch, English, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
    Charlie Harper is a well-to-do bachelor. His casual Malibu lifestyle was interrupted when his tightly wound brother, Alan, and Alan's young son, Jake, came to stay with him.
  2. 2. Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
    This video is currently unavailable
    September 27, 2004
    21min
    16+
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    Subtitles
    العربية, 中文(繁體), Dansk, Deutsch, English [CC], Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Русский, Svenska, 中文(简体)
    Audio Languages
    Audio Languages
    Deutsch, English, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
    At Charlie's urging, Alan decides to put his past behind him and returns a ceramic giraffe he vindictively took from Judith during the divorce.
  3. 3. A Bag Full of Jawea
    This video is currently unavailable
    October 4, 2004
    20min
    16+
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    Subtitles
    العربية, 中文(繁體), Dansk, Deutsch, English [CC], Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Русский, Svenska, 中文(简体)
    Audio Languages
    Audio Languages
    Deutsch, English, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
    Jake thinks he's dreaming late one night when he sees the teacher who tried to get him suspended, Miss Pasternak, practically naked in Charlie's kitchen.
  4. 4. Go Get Mommy's Bra
    This video is currently unavailable
    October 11, 2004
    21min
    16+
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    العربية, 中文(繁體), Dansk, Deutsch, English [CC], Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Русский, Svenska, 中文(简体)
    Audio Languages
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    Deutsch, English, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
    Jake adores Judith's rich, new boyfriend because the man has a boat and a pool, and he promises to teach Jake how to snorkel and scuba dive.
  5. 5. Bad News from the Clinic?
    This video is currently unavailable
    October 18, 2004
    21min
    16+
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    Subtitles
    العربية, 中文(繁體), Dansk, Deutsch, English [CC], Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Русский, Svenska, 中文(简体)
    Audio Languages
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    Deutsch, English, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
    Charlie dates a woman, Sherri, who is a self-centered, manipulative narcissist--a female Charlie. But Charlie doesn't like the way Sherri treats him.
  6. 6. The Price of Healthy Gums is Eternal Vigilance
    This video is currently unavailable
    October 25, 2004
    21min
    16+
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    العربية, 中文(繁體), Dansk, Deutsch, English [CC], Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Русский, Svenska, 中文(简体)
    Audio Languages
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    Deutsch, English, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
    When Evelyn tells Jake that Alan shoplifted a toy as a child, Alan denies the charge, as he has ever since the incident took place.
  7. 7. A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
    This video is currently unavailable
    November 8, 2004
    21min
    16+
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    العربية, 中文(繁體), Dansk, Deutsch, English [CC], Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Русский, Svenska, 中文(简体)
    Audio Languages
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    Deutsch, English, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
    In order to serve as a good example to Jake, who has been disrespectful lately to his mother, Charlie and Alan begrudgingly agree to give their own mother a party.
  8. 8. Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
    This video is currently unavailable
    November 15, 2004
    21min
    16+
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    العربية, 中文(繁體), Dansk, Deutsch, English [CC], Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Русский, Svenska, 中文(简体)
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    Deutsch, English, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
    Alan's expectations for a first date with Nancy, a woman he met while shopping for groceries, are far exceeded when she introduces him to a world of sex he never knew existed.
  9. 9. Yes, Monsignor
    This video is currently unavailable
    November 22, 2004
    22min
    16+
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    Subtitles
    العربية, 中文(繁體), Dansk, Deutsch, English [CC], Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Русский, Svenska, 中文(简体)
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    Deutsch, English, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
    Charlie encounters Lisa, the woman he thought was "the one" until she informed him of her engagement another man. He's thrilled to learn that her marriage did not work out.
  10. 10. The Salmon Under My Sweater
    This video is currently unavailable
    November 29, 2004
    21min
    16+
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    العربية, 中文(繁體), Dansk, Deutsch, English [CC], Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Русский, Svenska, 中文(简体)
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    Deutsch, English, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
    Charlie writes the theme song for a new cartoon, but Jake hates the song. Realizing that Jake knows the comic better than he does, Charlie enlists his nephew's help.
  11. 11. Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
    This video is currently unavailable
    December 13, 2004
    22min
    16+
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    Subtitles
    العربية, 中文(繁體), Dansk, Deutsch, English [CC], Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Русский, Svenska, 中文(简体)
    Audio Languages
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    Deutsch, English, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
    Charlie is surprised when a woman, Gail, with whom he flirts in a bar, rejects his overtures and tells him that women around town have been comparing notes on his philandering.
  12. 12. A Lungful of Alan
    This video is currently unavailable
    January 3, 2005
    21min
    16+
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    العربية, 中文(繁體), Dansk, Deutsch, English [CC], Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Русский, Svenska, 中文(简体)
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    Audio Languages
    Deutsch, English, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
    Jamie, Alan's close high school friend, visits Alan at the house. Charlie used to make fun of Jamie when they were teenagers and they both vie for her affections.
  13. 13. Zejdz zmoich wlosow (Get off my hair)
    This video is currently unavailable
    January 17, 2005
    21min
    16+
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    العربية, 中文(繁體), Dansk, Deutsch, English [CC], Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文(简体)
    Audio Languages
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    Deutsch, English, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
    When an earthquake causes plumbing damage in Judith's home, Alan allows her to move into the beach house temporarily--much to Charlie's displeasure.
  14. 14. Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
    This video is currently unavailable
    January 31, 2005
    21min
    16+
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    العربية, 中文(繁體), Dansk, Deutsch, English [CC], Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Русский, Svenska, 中文(简体)
    Audio Languages
    Audio Languages
    Deutsch, English, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
    After Evelyn undermines Jake's confidence by belittling his hard-earned high grade on a test, Alan decides to cut her out of their lives.
  15. 15. Smell the Umbrella Stand
    This video is currently unavailable
    February 7, 2005
    21min
    16+
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    العربية, 中文(繁體), Dansk, Deutsch, English [CC], Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Русский, Svenska, 中文(简体)
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    Deutsch, English, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
    On a boring, rainy weekend, Charlie convinces Alan to ride with Jake and him to Las Vegas. Apprehensive about his upcoming colonoscopy, Alan agrees that the diversion will be good for him.
  16. 16. Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
    This video is currently unavailable
    February 14, 2005
    21min
    16+
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    العربية, 中文(繁體), Dansk, Deutsch, English [CC], Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文(简体)
    Audio Languages
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    Deutsch, English, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
    Judith takes a vacation and leaves Jake with Alan. But then Alan finds out he's being audited by the Internal Revenue Service.
  17. 17. Woo-hoo, a Hernia Exam!
    This video is currently unavailable
    February 21, 2005
    21min
    16+
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    العربية, 中文(繁體), Dansk, Deutsch, English [CC], Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文(简体)
    Audio Languages
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    Deutsch, English, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
    While in a precarious position with a woman, Charlie injures his back and won't let Alan--a chiropractor--help him.
  18. 18. It Was 'Mame,' Mom
    This video is currently unavailable
    March 7, 2005
    21min
    16+
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    Subtitles
    العربية, 中文(繁體), Dansk, Deutsch, English [CC], Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文(简体)
    Audio Languages
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    Deutsch, English, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
    Charlie masquerades as a homosexual so that Eric will continue to give Charlie more jingles. Charlie convinces Alan to pretend to be his gay partner and attend a party hosted by Eric.
  19. 19. A Low Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
    This video is currently unavailable
    March 21, 2005
    21min
    16+
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    Subtitles
    العربية, 中文(繁體), Dansk, Deutsch, English [CC], Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Русский, Svenska, 中文(简体)
    Audio Languages
    Audio Languages
    Deutsch, English, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
    While at a coffee shop, Alan and Charlie encounter Sherri, a woman who once dated Charlie just so she could have sex with him. Alan is enchanted with her beauty.
  20. 20. I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
    This video is currently unavailable
    April 18, 2005
    21min
    16+
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    Subtitles
    العربية, 中文(繁體), Dansk, Deutsch, English [CC], Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Русский, Svenska, 中文(简体)
    Audio Languages
    Audio Languages
    Deutsch, English, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
    Evelyn harasses Charlie and Judith bills Alan for an expensive pair of tennis shoes. Unable to express the anger they have towards the women, Charlie and Alan lash out at each other.
  21. 21. A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
    This video is currently unavailable
    May 2, 2005
    21min
    16+
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    Subtitles
    العربية, 中文(繁體), Dansk, Deutsch, English [CC], Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Русский, Svenska, 中文(简体)
    Audio Languages
    Audio Languages
    Deutsch, English, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
    While scanning the obituaries for potential property listings, Evelyn discovers that her second husband, Harry, has died.
  22. 22. That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
    This video is currently unavailable
    May 9, 2005
    21min
    16+
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    Subtitles
    العربية, 中文(繁體), Dansk, Deutsch, English [CC], Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Русский, Svenska, 中文(简体)
    Audio Languages
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    Deutsch, English, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
    After Evelyn gives Alan a loan so he can purchase a new Porsche, Charlie informs his brother that Alan has sold his soul to the devil. Evelyn proves Charlie is right.
  23. 23. Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
    This video is currently unavailable
    May 16, 2005
    21min
    16+
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    Subtitles
    العربية, 中文(繁體), Dansk, Deutsch, English [CC], Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文(简体)
    Audio Languages
    Audio Languages
    Deutsch, English, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
    When Evelyn learns that Jake spent his entire spring vacation with his other grandparents, she pressures Alan into letting Jake stay with her for a night.
  24. 24. Does This Smell Funny to You?
    This video is currently unavailable
    May 23, 2005
    21min
    16+
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    Subtitles
    العربية, 中文(繁體), Dansk, Deutsch, English [CC], Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文(简体)
    Audio Languages
    Audio Languages
    Deutsch, English, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
    Charlie has sex with a gorgeous young woman, Natalie. At school, Jake is required to give a report to his fifth-grade class about his weekend.

More details

Network
Warner Bros.
Amazon Maturity Rating
16+ Young Adults. Learn more