Roseanne

Roseanne is looking forward to taking Darlene to college, but Darlene wants David to take her instead, hurting her mother's feeling in the process.

Roseanne makes a deal with Jackie that if she asks Fred out, Roseanne will ask their mother to become a silent partner in the restaurant and stay away. This hurts Beverly's feeling, and she swears not to have anything further to do with either one of them. Jackie and Fred go out; Fred wants to keep seeing Jackie, but she doesn't want to. Roseanne feels guilty about hurting her Mom.

Jackie and Roseanne plan a house-warming party for Jackie's new home and attempt to hide it from their Mom. Roseanne invites Darlene home for the weekend, with the agenda of getting David and Darlene back together. D.J. goes through a rebellious period, skipping school and enlisting Darlene's help to cover for him, making Roseanne determined for find out what he is up to.

When Roseanne finds a bag of pot in David's room, she's angry -- and worried about how Dan is going to react. Of course, he goes ballistic, until he realizes the stuff is a 20-year old relic of his and Roseanne's youth. Inevitably, they roll a joint for old times' sake, and before you can say "like, wow," Dan, Roseanne and her sister, Jackie, are adrift in a Cheech-and-Chong time warp.

Trying to conceive another child, Roseanne puts Dan on a "love-making schedule," to no avail. Jackie discovers that she's pregnant from her one-night-stand with Fred, and is hesitant about telling him. Roseanne has no problem spreading Jackie's good news to their Mother and their friends, but is stopped before she can tell Fred.

The Conners gear up for their favorite holiday, with their traditional flare for trying to out-prank one another. Roseanne, the queen of Halloween, falls for the various elaborate pranks pulled on her by her family, for a change. Nancy is upset because she is painfully aware that Dan doesn't like her, so Roseanne sets out to convince her she is wrong by insisting that Dan pull a prank on her.

Roseanne tries to encourage David to snap out of his moping about Darlene being away at school and do something with his life, but it backfires when David decides to move back in with his Mom in Michigan. Darlene comes home for a visit to surprise David, but they wind up at each others' throats.

An old fling of Dan's, and old nemesis of Roseanne's from high school, visits Dan at the City Garage and invites him out to lunch. Unaware of how Dan spent his lunch hour, Roseanne confides in Jackie that Dan played hooky that afternoon.

Following the Homecoming game, Dan holds a 25-year-reunion party for his former high school football team, begging his family to behave as if they are loving and happy for the duration. Becky and Mark come home for a visit after a long absence. The two are fighting,and Becky contemplates leaving him. Roseanne invites Becky and Mark to move in.

It's a Thanksgiving in a typical Connor family fashion. Becky volunteers to take over cooking duties while Dan and Mark are still at each other's throats, Fred is shocked at the dysfunction of the family he may marry into, and Nana Mary reveals a long-kept secret about Bev's marriage.

Leon manipulates Nancy and Jackie into voting to serve breakfast at the diner, among other changes, without consulting Roseanne. Starved for attention, D.J. steals and wrecks the family car while joy-riding, causing a stressed-out Roseanne to lash out in a violent way that she quickly regrets. The power-play between Leon and Roseanne escalates.

After receiving notice from the neighborhood association about not putting up tacky Christmas decorations on their property, the Conners go all out for a "white trash" Christmas. Dan and Roseanne offer Becky money to start college but freak when she gives the money to her husband, Mark, to attend trade-school.

Roseanne decides to join the Lanford Women's Association to develop contacts for her restaurant, especially since Leon is opposed to her being the one to do it. In an effort to suck-up, Roseanne makes D.J. play with one of the member's weird son, Elijah. Dan discovers that, instead of going to school every evening, Mark has been going to the Lobo Lounge.

Darlene is fed up with David, who has been secretly living with her for months instead of his mother in Michigan, as Dan and Roseanne believe. She feels guilty for constantly having to lie to her parents. A miserable Becky unfairly blames Roseanne for Mark walking out on her. Tired of being blamed for the whole mess, Roseanne tries to get Mark to patch things up with Becky.

Roseanne and Becky try to convince Dan to hire Mark at the city garage. Riddled with guilt (and tired of Roseanne working him like a dog), David confesses to Dan that he was living with Darlene in Chicago instead of his mother's in Michigan. Furious, Dan throws him out of the house, telling Roseanne to take him to the bus station and send him to Michigan for real.

Darlene comes home to try to convince her father to let David move back in the house "from Michigan" without success. After catching David making out in the basement with Darlene, Dan finds out that he was lied to by his family once again and learns that not only did David not go to his mother's, but that he was staying with Jackie... and that Rosanne was responsible.

Since Jackie has made it very clear that Fred is not welcome to be a part of their baby's life, Fred retaliates with plans to sue Jackie for custody after the birth, which throws Jackie into hysterics. Fighting over whether Fred has the right to force himself into his baby's life splits the men and women of the Conner house.

Nancy introduces her new girlfriend, Sharon, to Roseanne and Jackie. Sharon invites them to go out dancing with her and Nancy at a gay bar and winds up giving Roseanne a romantic kiss. This freaks Roseanne out, but she has a hard time figuring out why. Jackie is openly uncomfortable about people assuming she might be gay, which prompts an amused Roseanne to behave like they are a couple.

Jackie tells Roseanne that Fred wants to be in the delivery room and the hospital will only allow one extra person to be with her. When Jackie realizes that she is in labor, Roseanne puts off calling Fred to let him know, in hopes that she will get to be the one who stays with Jackie during the delivery. Guilt over this delay gets the better of her, and she sends Dan out to try and find him.

Audrey cries to Dan about his father owing her money, so he confronts Ed, hoping he will do the right thing. Jackie and Fred go out on a "get to know you better" date, in hopes of building an honest, solid relationship. Jackie admits to Fred the fact that she has had a lot more sexual partners than he has, causing a rift in the relationship they are trying to build.

Dan's mother, Audrey, is put into a mental institute and Dan blames the years of neglect by his father for her emotional problems. Determined to confront his Dad, he shows up at Crystal's house drunk and destructive. Crystal, tired of Dan blaming everything on her husband, tells Roseanne a secret about Audrey that had been kept from Dan his whole life.

Darlene discovers that D.J. has been sneaking off after school to attend church; D.J. gives Roseanne a hard time about morals when she accepts a mistaken delivery of a second stove at the diner.

Roseanne finds out Bev didn't get injured by slipping in the shower like she told everybody. Fred plans to propose to Jackie.

Fred climbs out of the doghouse with Jackie by gathering inspiration from her soaps and figuring out a romantic way to propose to her. David climbs into the doghouse with Darlene by commenting that it's a woman's obligation to bear children. Dan joins David in the doghouse when his attempt to be romantic with Roseanne falls short.

Fred is unsettled by the fact that Jackie turns to Dan, and not him, when she needs help from a man. Upset, convinced that Jackie has feeling for Dan, and half-drunk, Fred confronts Dan, takes a swing at him, and tells Jackie that maybe they shouldn't get married, but offers no explanation.