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Two and a Half Men

7.1200512 Seasons16+Subtitles and Closed CaptionsX-Ray

Welcome back to the Harpers' Malibu beach house – home to one of the funniest TV comedy hits in a long, long time. Resolute bachelor Charlie's trying (but not very hard) to remember the name of the girl currently taking a shower upstairs.

العربية, 中文(繁體), Dansk, Deutsch, English [CC], Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Русский, Svenska, 中文(简体)
Audio Languages
Deutsch, English, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
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Episodes (24)

  1. 1. Back off Mary Poppins

    Not available21 minutesSeptember 19, 200416+Subtitles

    Charlie Harper is a well-to-do bachelor. His casual Malibu lifestyle was interrupted when his tightly wound brother, Alan, and Alan's young son, Jake, came to stay with him.

  2. 2. Enjoy Those Garlic Balls

    Not available21 minutesSeptember 26, 200416+Subtitles

    At Charlie's urging, Alan decides to put his past behind him and returns a ceramic giraffe he vindictively took from Judith during the divorce.

  3. 3. A Bag Full of Jawea

    Not available20 minutesOctober 3, 200416+Subtitles

    Jake thinks he's dreaming late one night when he sees the teacher who tried to get him suspended, Miss Pasternak, practically naked in Charlie's kitchen.

  4. 4. Go Get Mommy's Bra

    Not available21 minutesOctober 10, 200416+Subtitles

    Jake adores Judith's rich, new boyfriend because the man has a boat and a pool, and he promises to teach Jake how to snorkel and scuba dive.

  5. 5. Bad News from the Clinic?

    Not available21 minutesOctober 17, 200416+Subtitles

    Charlie dates a woman, Sherri, who is a self-centered, manipulative narcissist--a female Charlie. But Charlie doesn't like the way Sherri treats him.

  6. 6. The Price of Healthy Gums is Eternal Vigilance

    Not available21 minutesOctober 24, 200416+Subtitles

    When Evelyn tells Jake that Alan shoplifted a toy as a child, Alan denies the charge, as he has ever since the incident took place.

  7. 7. A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana

    Not available21 minutesNovember 7, 200416+Subtitles

    In order to serve as a good example to Jake, who has been disrespectful lately to his mother, Charlie and Alan begrudgingly agree to give their own mother a party.

  8. 8. Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers

    Not available21 minutesNovember 14, 200416+Subtitles

    Alan's expectations for a first date with Nancy, a woman he met while shopping for groceries, are far exceeded when she introduces him to a world of sex he never knew existed.

  9. 9. Yes, Monsignor

    Not available21 minutesNovember 21, 200416+Subtitles

    Charlie encounters Lisa, the woman he thought was "the one" until she informed him of her engagement another man. He's thrilled to learn that her marriage did not work out.

  10. 10. The Salmon Under My Sweater

    Not available21 minutesNovember 28, 200416+Subtitles

    Charlie writes the theme song for a new cartoon, but Jake hates the song. Realizing that Jake knows the comic better than he does, Charlie enlists his nephew's help.

  11. 11. Last Chance to See Those Tattoos

    Not available21 minutesDecember 12, 200416+Subtitles

    Charlie is surprised when a woman, Gail, with whom he flirts in a bar, rejects his overtures and tells him that women around town have been comparing notes on his philandering.

  12. 12. A Lungful of Alan

    Not available21 minutesJanuary 2, 200516+Subtitles

    Jamie, Alan's close high school friend, visits Alan at the house. Charlie used to make fun of Jamie when they were teenagers and they both vie for her affections.

  13. 13. Zejdz zmoich wlosow (Get off my hair)

    Not available20 minutesJanuary 16, 200516+Subtitles

    When an earthquake causes plumbing damage in Judith's home, Alan allows her to move into the beach house temporarily--much to Charlie's displeasure.

  14. 14. Those Big Pink Things with Coconut

    Not available21 minutesJanuary 30, 200516+Subtitles

    After Evelyn undermines Jake's confidence by belittling his hard-earned high grade on a test, Alan decides to cut her out of their lives.

  15. 15. Smell the Umbrella Stand

    Not available21 minutesFebruary 6, 200516+Subtitles

    On a boring, rainy weekend, Charlie convinces Alan to ride with Jake and him to Las Vegas. Apprehensive about his upcoming colonoscopy, Alan agrees that the diversion will be good for him.

  16. 16. Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?

    Not available21 minutesFebruary 13, 200516+Subtitles

    Judith takes a vacation and leaves Jake with Alan. But then Alan finds out he's being audited by the Internal Revenue Service.

  17. 17. Woo-hoo, a Hernia Exam!

    Not available21 minutesFebruary 20, 200516+Subtitles

    While in a precarious position with a woman, Charlie injures his back and won't let Alan--a chiropractor--help him.

  18. 18. It Was 'Mame,' Mom

    Not available21 minutesMarch 6, 200516+Subtitles

    Charlie masquerades as a homosexual so that Eric will continue to give Charlie more jingles. Charlie convinces Alan to pretend to be his gay partner and attend a party hosted by Eric.

  19. 19. A Low Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise

    Not available21 minutesMarch 20, 200516+Subtitles

    While at a coffee shop, Alan and Charlie encounter Sherri, a woman who once dated Charlie just so she could have sex with him. Alan is enchanted with her beauty.

  20. 20. I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey

    Not available21 minutesApril 17, 200516+Subtitles

    Evelyn harasses Charlie and Judith bills Alan for an expensive pair of tennis shoes. Unable to express the anger they have towards the women, Charlie and Alan lash out at each other.

  21. 21. A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On

    Not available20 minutesMay 1, 200516+Subtitles

    While scanning the obituaries for potential property listings, Evelyn discovers that her second husband, Harry, has died.

  22. 22. That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother

    Not available21 minutesMay 8, 200516+Subtitles

    After Evelyn gives Alan a loan so he can purchase a new Porsche, Charlie informs his brother that Alan has sold his soul to the devil. Evelyn proves Charlie is right.

  23. 23. Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

    Not available20 minutesMay 15, 200516+Subtitles

    When Evelyn learns that Jake spent his entire spring vacation with his other grandparents, she pressures Alan into letting Jake stay with her for a night.

  24. 24. Does This Smell Funny to You?

    Not available20 minutesMay 22, 200516+Subtitles

    Charlie has sex with a gorgeous young woman, Natalie. At school, Jake is required to give a report to his fifth-grade class about his weekend.

Additional Details

Warner Bros.
Amazon Maturity Rating
16+ Young Adults. Learn more