Two and a Half Men
7.02005X-RayNR
Welcome back to the Harpers' Malibu beach house – home to one of the funniest TV comedy hits in a long, long time. Resolute bachelor Charlie's trying (but not very hard) to remember the name of the girl currently taking a shower upstairs.
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Episodes (24)
- 1. Back off Mary PoppinsThis video is currently unavailableSeptember 19, 200421minNRSubtitlesEnglish [CC], العربية, Čeština, Dansk, Deutsch, Ελληνικά, Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, עברית, Magyar, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Português (Portugal) [CC], Română, Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文（简体）, 中文（繁體）Audio languagesEnglish, Deutsch, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
Charlie Harper is a well-to-do bachelor. His casual Malibu lifestyle was interrupted when his tightly wound brother, Alan, and Alan's young son, Jake, came to stay with him. - 2. Enjoy Those Garlic BallsThis video is currently unavailableSeptember 26, 200421minNRSubtitlesEnglish [CC], العربية, Čeština, Dansk, Deutsch, Ελληνικά, Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, עברית, Magyar, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Português (Portugal) [CC], Română, Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文（简体）, 中文（繁體）Audio languagesEnglish, Deutsch, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
At Charlie's urging, Alan decides to put his past behind him and returns a ceramic giraffe he vindictively took from Judith during the divorce. - 3. A Bag Full of JaweaThis video is currently unavailableOctober 3, 200420minNRSubtitlesEnglish [CC], العربية, Čeština, Dansk, Deutsch, Ελληνικά, Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, עברית, Magyar, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Português (Portugal) [CC], Română, Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文（简体）, 中文（繁體）Audio languagesEnglish, Deutsch, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
Jake thinks he's dreaming late one night when he sees the teacher who tried to get him suspended, Miss Pasternak, practically naked in Charlie's kitchen. - 4. Go Get Mommy's BraThis video is currently unavailableOctober 10, 200421minNRSubtitlesEnglish [CC], العربية, Čeština, Dansk, Deutsch, Ελληνικά, Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, עברית, Magyar, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Português (Portugal) [CC], Română, Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文（简体）, 中文（繁體）Audio languagesEnglish, Deutsch, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
Jake adores Judith's rich, new boyfriend because the man has a boat and a pool, and he promises to teach Jake how to snorkel and scuba dive. - 5. Bad News from the Clinic?This video is currently unavailableOctober 17, 200421minNRSubtitlesEnglish [CC], العربية, Čeština, Dansk, Deutsch, Ελληνικά, Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, עברית, Magyar, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Português (Portugal) [CC], Română, Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文（简体）, 中文（繁體）Audio languagesEnglish, Deutsch, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
Charlie dates a woman, Sherri, who is a self-centered, manipulative narcissist--a female Charlie. But Charlie doesn't like the way Sherri treats him. - 6. The Price of Healthy Gums is Eternal VigilanceThis video is currently unavailableOctober 24, 200421minNRSubtitlesEnglish [CC], العربية, Čeština, Dansk, Deutsch, Ελληνικά, Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, עברית, Magyar, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Português (Portugal) [CC], Română, Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文（简体）, 中文（繁體）Audio languagesEnglish, Deutsch, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
When Evelyn tells Jake that Alan shoplifted a toy as a child, Alan denies the charge, as he has ever since the incident took place. - 7. A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in FontanaThis video is currently unavailableNovember 7, 200421minNRSubtitlesEnglish [CC], العربية, Čeština, Dansk, Deutsch, Ελληνικά, Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, עברית, Magyar, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Português (Portugal) [CC], Română, Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文（简体）, 中文（繁體）Audio languagesEnglish, Deutsch, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
In order to serve as a good example to Jake, who has been disrespectful lately to his mother, Charlie and Alan begrudgingly agree to give their own mother a party. - 8. Frankenstein and the Horny VillagersThis video is currently unavailableNovember 14, 200421minNRSubtitlesEnglish [CC], العربية, Čeština, Dansk, Deutsch, Ελληνικά, Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, עברית, Magyar, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Português (Portugal) [CC], Română, Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文（简体）, 中文（繁體）Audio languagesEnglish, Deutsch, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
Alan's expectations for a first date with Nancy, a woman he met while shopping for groceries, are far exceeded when she introduces him to a world of sex he never knew existed. - 9. Yes, MonsignorThis video is currently unavailableNovember 21, 200422minNRSubtitlesEnglish [CC], العربية, Čeština, Dansk, Deutsch, Ελληνικά, Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, עברית, Magyar, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Português (Portugal) [CC], Română, Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文（简体）, 中文（繁體）Audio languagesEnglish, Deutsch, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
Charlie encounters Lisa, the woman he thought was "the one" until she informed him of her engagement another man. He's thrilled to learn that her marriage did not work out. - 10. The Salmon Under My SweaterThis video is currently unavailableNovember 28, 200421minNRSubtitlesEnglish [CC], العربية, Čeština, Dansk, Deutsch, Ελληνικά, Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, עברית, Magyar, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Português (Portugal) [CC], Română, Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文（简体）, 中文（繁體）Audio languagesEnglish, Deutsch, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
Charlie writes the theme song for a new cartoon, but Jake hates the song. Realizing that Jake knows the comic better than he does, Charlie enlists his nephew's help. - 11. Last Chance to See Those TattoosThis video is currently unavailableDecember 12, 200422minNRSubtitlesEnglish [CC], العربية, Čeština, Dansk, Deutsch, Ελληνικά, Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, עברית, Magyar, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Português (Portugal) [CC], Română, Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文（简体）, 中文（繁體）Audio languagesEnglish, Deutsch, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
Charlie is surprised when a woman, Gail, with whom he flirts in a bar, rejects his overtures and tells him that women around town have been comparing notes on his philandering. - 12. A Lungful of AlanThis video is currently unavailableJanuary 2, 200521minNRSubtitlesEnglish [CC], العربية, Čeština, Dansk, Deutsch, Ελληνικά, Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, עברית, Magyar, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Português (Portugal) [CC], Română, Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文（简体）, 中文（繁體）Audio languagesEnglish, Deutsch, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
Jamie, Alan's close high school friend, visits Alan at the house. Charlie used to make fun of Jamie when they were teenagers and they both vie for her affections. - 13. Zejdz zmoich wlosow (Get off my hair)This video is currently unavailableJanuary 16, 200521minNRSubtitlesEnglish [CC], العربية, Čeština, Dansk, Deutsch, Ελληνικά, Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, עברית, Magyar, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Português (Portugal) [CC], Română, Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文（简体）, 中文（繁體）Audio languagesEnglish, Deutsch, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
When an earthquake causes plumbing damage in Judith's home, Alan allows her to move into the beach house temporarily--much to Charlie's displeasure. - 14. Those Big Pink Things with CoconutThis video is currently unavailableJanuary 30, 200521minNRSubtitlesEnglish [CC], العربية, Čeština, Dansk, Deutsch, Ελληνικά, Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, עברית, Magyar, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Português (Portugal) [CC], Română, Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文（简体）, 中文（繁體）Audio languagesEnglish, Deutsch, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
After Evelyn undermines Jake's confidence by belittling his hard-earned high grade on a test, Alan decides to cut her out of their lives. - 15. Smell the Umbrella StandThis video is currently unavailableFebruary 6, 200521minNRSubtitlesEnglish [CC], العربية, Čeština, Dansk, Deutsch, Ελληνικά, Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, עברית, Magyar, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Português (Portugal) [CC], Română, Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文（简体）, 中文（繁體）Audio languagesEnglish, Deutsch, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
On a boring, rainy weekend, Charlie convinces Alan to ride with Jake and him to Las Vegas. Apprehensive about his upcoming colonoscopy, Alan agrees that the diversion will be good for him. - 16. Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?This video is currently unavailableFebruary 13, 200521minNRSubtitlesEnglish [CC], العربية, Čeština, Dansk, Deutsch, Ελληνικά, Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, עברית, Magyar, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Português (Portugal) [CC], Română, Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文（简体）, 中文（繁體）Audio languagesEnglish, Deutsch, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
Judith takes a vacation and leaves Jake with Alan. But then Alan finds out he's being audited by the Internal Revenue Service. - 17. Woo-hoo, a Hernia Exam!This video is currently unavailableFebruary 20, 200521minNRSubtitlesEnglish [CC], العربية, Čeština, Dansk, Deutsch, Ελληνικά, Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, עברית, Magyar, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Português (Portugal) [CC], Română, Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文（简体）, 中文（繁體）Audio languagesEnglish, Deutsch, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
While in a precarious position with a woman, Charlie injures his back and won't let Alan--a chiropractor--help him. - 18. It Was Mame, MomThis video is currently unavailableMarch 6, 200521minNRSubtitlesEnglish [CC], العربية, Čeština, Dansk, Deutsch, Ελληνικά, Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, עברית, Magyar, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Português (Portugal) [CC], Română, Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文（简体）, 中文（繁體）Audio languagesEnglish, Deutsch, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
Charlie masquerades as a homosexual so that Eric will continue to give Charlie more jingles. Charlie convinces Alan to pretend to be his gay partner and attend a party hosted by Eric. - 19. A Low Guttural Tongue-Flapping NoiseThis video is currently unavailableMarch 20, 200521minNRSubtitlesEnglish [CC], العربية, Čeština, Dansk, Deutsch, Ελληνικά, Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, עברית, Magyar, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Português (Portugal) [CC], Română, Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文（简体）, 中文（繁體）Audio languagesEnglish, Deutsch, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
While at a coffee shop, Alan and Charlie encounter Sherri, a woman who once dated Charlie just so she could have sex with him. Alan is enchanted with her beauty. - 20. I Always Wanted a Shaved MonkeyThis video is currently unavailableApril 17, 200521minNRSubtitlesEnglish [CC], العربية, Čeština, Dansk, Deutsch, Ελληνικά, Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, עברית, Magyar, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Português (Portugal) [CC], Română, Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文（简体）, 中文（繁體）Audio languagesEnglish, Deutsch, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
Evelyn harasses Charlie and Judith bills Alan for an expensive pair of tennis shoes. Unable to express the anger they have towards the women, Charlie and Alan lash out at each other. - 21. A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry OnThis video is currently unavailableMay 1, 200521minNRSubtitlesEnglish [CC], العربية, Čeština, Dansk, Deutsch, Ελληνικά, Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, עברית, Magyar, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Português (Portugal) [CC], Română, Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文（简体）, 中文（繁體）Audio languagesEnglish, Deutsch, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
While scanning the obituaries for potential property listings, Evelyn discovers that her second husband, Harry, has died. - 22. That Old Hose Bag Is My MotherThis video is currently unavailableMay 8, 200521minNRSubtitlesEnglish [CC], العربية, Čeština, Dansk, Deutsch, Ελληνικά, Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, עברית, Magyar, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Português (Portugal) [CC], Română, Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文（简体）, 中文（繁體）Audio languagesEnglish, Deutsch, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
After Evelyn gives Alan a loan so he can purchase a new Porsche, Charlie informs his brother that Alan has sold his soul to the devil. Evelyn proves Charlie is right. - 23. Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, SquabThis video is currently unavailableMay 15, 200521minNRSubtitlesEnglish [CC], العربية, Čeština, Dansk, Deutsch, Ελληνικά, Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, עברית, Magyar, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Português (Portugal) [CC], Română, Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文（简体）, 中文（繁體）Audio languagesEnglish, Deutsch, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
When Evelyn learns that Jake spent his entire spring vacation with his other grandparents, she pressures Alan into letting Jake stay with her for a night. - 24. Does This Smell Funny to You?This video is currently unavailableMay 22, 200521minNRSubtitlesEnglish [CC], العربية, Čeština, Dansk, Deutsch, Ελληνικά, Español (Latinoamérica), Español (España), Suomi, Français, עברית, Magyar, Indonesia, Italiano, 日本語, 한국어, Norsk Bokmål, Nederlands, Polski, Português (Brasil), Português (Portugal), Português (Portugal) [CC], Română, Русский, Svenska, ไทย, 中文（简体）, 中文（繁體）Audio languagesEnglish, Deutsch, Español (España), Español (Latinoamérica), Français, Italiano, Polski, Português
Charlie has sex with a gorgeous young woman, Natalie. At school, Jake is required to give a report to his fifth-grade class about his weekend.
More details
- Network
- Warner Bros.
- Content advisory
- Alcohol usefoul languagesexual contentsmokingsubstance useviolence
- Supporting actors
- Marin HinkleMelanie LynskeyConchata FerrellHolland Taylor